Venice Beach: It's Not Baywatch

Venice Beach (Photo Credit: Dejay Patson's Shitty Phone)

Art.

Friend on Balance Beam

There's something about street performers and cheap merchandise vendors that captivate both tourists and California natives alike at Venice Beach. There, you can buy some faux jewelry, knock off sunglasses, and a tye-dyed shirt with a neon picture of Marilyn Monroe rolling a blunt (sorry it's not pictured...). There are some other cool things about Venice beach, like the art! There's so much art around the beach! I don't mean just what the vendors are selling; I mean street art like murals and graffiti work (the good kind of graffiti). There are also some cool places to get your fitness on and get that six-pack going. It seems well kept and well-used. It was kinda cool seeing teenagers actively engaged in physical activity - younger kids too! I'm beyond that kind of peer pressure or guilt, but good for the little rug rats.

As much as there is to explore in Venice Beach, there are some places that are off limits. On Venice Beach, there are no signs to tell you that, which gives young lifeguards the opportunity to play out that Baywatch fantasy (mine? idk.). He didn't run in slow motion though - and for that, I'm very disappointed.

You can't go here...apparently.

We were told to come back off the rocks, which I remember from a Baywatch episode where some stupid tourist fell and got pinned against the rocks by the waves. It's a very dangerous place to be, and no one should ever go there - so we thought we'd check it out (because we're all BAMF and shit).

Not all rock surfaces are smooth, and I should've warn shoes, because I felt like I was walking over hot coals in some tribal ritual to earn my manhood. It hurt like hell. A young adolescent fighting a terrible case of acne (or nasal herpes) informed me (in a very condescending/scoffing/annoyingrichkid way) "That's why you wear shoooeeesss...they protect your feet." Had he ended with 'duh,' I would've thrown him in. I'm not sure how he got so far from his house without his ankle bracelet going off, but with parents that don't love him, I'm sure his path in the world will end back at these rocks anyway (I call that joke "Suicide is okay if you're a shitty person.")

All jokes aside,

Dejay Patson