Just kidding; I have no idea. But in case, just in case, you're thinking "We know Dejay; we sort of like Dejay (I mean, he is a bit much to take in at first, but his brand of funnies grows on ya); who the heck is this other guy?"
I am Crook. Wena Crook. That's all I'll say about me at this stage; judge me not by anything other than the foolery that I plan to spew upon this here Dejay Patson-provided platform.
So, let's make like we are finding the shortest way to your local branch of one of America's big four banks and...drumroll please... cut to the chase... (see what I did...oh maan, tough crowd today.)
But yea..the chase.
So, we're just coming out of Valentine's Weekend. I can approximate that there are three or four overarching sentiments that folks are carrying after the past 48-72 Hallmark and arrow-wielding baby-inspired hours:
1) 'Tis so glamorous to feel so amorous! Yay us!
2) Yo, the weekend was rough on a boy's wallet. And after all that, she hit me with the "You're nice guy. I hope to one day meet a guy like you..."
3) Thank heavens that's done with! I couldn't take another day of seeing these coupled folks flaunting their quote unquote love all over social media. Hey Salvador, quit it with the Edible Arrangements: he/she is cheating on you, and everybody knows!
4) 'Alas, yet another February 14th, and I'm still on my lonesome. What's wrong with me? I shower twice a day, watch Scandal and Walking Dead now and then to keep up on conversations, and walk a safe middle ground in my political posts on social media (Every #BlackLivesMatter strategically followed with a 'Love me a man in uniform' post within the hour- you don't wanna piss anyone off too much.) Seems like everyone who hollas just wants me for my body! Like I'm a piece of meat. Hell, even serial killer Charles Manson is engaged to a decent looking woman; and his heinous self has been on death row for decades. Is this what it has come to? Is Charles Manson winning at life more than I am?"
Congrats to #1 and better luck to #2. #3, yes we are annoyed by it too, and yep, she is totes cheating on Salvador (Sal? Sally? hmmm), but get over yourself; none of your beeswax.
It's #4 I'm here to talk to though. Yes you. Pucker up soldier; all hope is not lost.
Charles Manson is NOT DOING better than you. Turns out, he just broke up with his fiancee- just before Valentine's no less! The reason? He found out the only reason she wanted to marry him was so she could gain control of his remains after he died; display them in a glass crypt, and hopefully make a killi...well, make a lot of money from people coming to see ol' Charlie ol pal in eternal slumber.
So there it is. The love that made you feel like you were losing is no more. Manson is not doing better than you. Hooray! Like, She literally wanted him for his body; and not in the nice way that people want you for yours.
Keep your head up. You're still in with a chance. I know of at least one man and woman who are single after this weekend; go get em.
#WenaCrookisRootingforYou
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